Year of awakening
On June 19, exactly one year ago, my awakening began at the camp in Vratsa, led by Plamen Topuzov. My teacher, role model, and friend. I approached with a dose of distrust and great curiosity. I will not lie; there was a pinch of skepticism. BUT something deep inside was pulling me, without having words to describe it… and I went with the flow. Finally, a year later, I began to hear more or less a part of what he was trying to convey to me. And I began to see how this heard particle rearranged my consciousness and, therefore, the reality around me.
I met people in front of whom I can be more myself. People with whom to laugh and even cry, which used to be incomprehensible to me. Without judging me or laughing. I began to understand why certain things in my life are exactly how they are. Why did things happen to me in the past, and where did they bring me. I allowed myself to hear someone, while before, I listened only to myself and crushed others. The whole year passed for a moment; I even found it hard to believe that 365 days had passed.
On the other hand, I believe in many things, and in general, I can easily imagine what I would and would not do. I am now learning the art of being here and now, in this time-space, and not setting a new goal when I have achieved a long-awaited one and leave immediately without enjoying the moment. So, if we don’t enjoy the moment, what are we doing here?
I also learned to express what I think, feel, or experience. To say, it’s hard for me, and I need support. Not to hold it in me, so I don’t hurt my loved ones. People express the things that bother you, weigh you down or hinder you because if you don’t take them out into the outside world, those things make you sick! What others will think or do is their choice, and they carry the cross you have shared. If something in another person irritates us, we do the same, or we can’t afford it.
I learned to love myself.
Have you ever looked in the mirror and enjoyed it? Sincere joy. To want to say, “Man, I love you”? Because I never did. When I did it for the first time, I was uncomfortable and awkward … I started laughing. But how will we love someone outside if we do not love ourselves? How are we going to pour wine into the glass of our loved ones when our jug is empty? Let’s fill ourselves first, then pour around. I have always felt misunderstood and lonely, even with 100 people around. I can safely say that I found friends, kindred spirits, love, and many more things. And do you know which is the best part? I’m only 21, and this whole amazing journey is just beginning! 😍
“Heal your mind, and it will heal everything else.” – Amilius
P.S. This is my point of view, put together thanks to the people and knowledge I met and gathered this year! Thank you all! 🙏🏼
